Cheeze Ballz

So I went to a corn maze tonight.



It was a haunted halloween thing where people pop out at you and scare you as you're going through. It was fun for about 5 minutes until my friends and I took a wrong turn and ended up at the very end of the maze before we got through any of the middle part. We tried to go backwards so we could experience the whole thing, but on our way back, instead of scaring us, the people working in the maze kept telling us we were going the wrong way.

It was kind of a sad way to end my halloween. I asked one of my friends what she wanted to do after we got back from the maze, but she said she was going to meet her other friend Ashley at a restaurant. Oh. She said it in this sheepish way, like she knew that she was excluding me, and was trying to skirt the subject. Its funny, because her embarrassment about it was really what made me upset. If she had just said it in an open, nonchalant way I wouldn't have thought much of it. I would have thought, oh, of course she's not inviting me, why would she want me around when she can confide in a cooler, better friend? But she said it like she knew she was wronging me, and I guess that made me feel like I really was being cast aside.

I feel so far away from everyone. No one really likes me except for a couple people who I have serious issues with. One's clingy, one's a homophobe, and one's just an all around mess. I can't bear it, I think I'll die alone.

More betterer not so woe is me news

I went shopping and bought these:
Well, not these per se, but a pair of Levis that look nearly exactly the same, but were apparently too cool to show up on google images. Mine have white laces. But holyshamoly, how awesome are these shoes??? Sure, they hurt my feet, and are a half size to small, and have nearly zero ventilation. But the inevitable athletes foot is a price I'm willing to pay. Did you see these shoes?? They're SEE THROUGH! which means I can wear a different pair of socks with them everyday, and voila, a new pair of sneaks! I wore my union jack socks the other day. The ones I got in London. I was going to never wear those socks, and keep them in their pristine newness for all eternity as a British souvenir. But that plan fell by the wayside once I bought these sneakers. These shoes are the epitome of AWESOMESAUCE, and I can't wait to get some new socks to wear with them. Plus they were only $10 at Lady Footlocker. Holy crap I can die happy. Happier. Eh. PLASTIC FEETZZZZ

Fuck its 2010. And you know what that means... Its almost my birthday. That means I'm almost 21 years old, and able to drink legally. If I didn't despise the thought of killing the few braincells I have, I would totally drown myself in alcohol by the end of the month. I've been wasting my life and time doing nothing, fucking zip, and God I'm gross. Seriously, I haven't even been posting on here regularly, and God knows I could spare a few minutes doing that. I've just been watching a ton of iCarly and Buffy repeats on le television, and eating arcade candy. fml. God I just turned into an emo child. eeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmoooooooooo. I'm lame. Goodgoddam.

Mommy and Me

So, I'm at dinner, and I say to my mom, "What's happening tomorrow?" Then she says, "I don't know." There's a long beat, and then I say, "Wanna help me look for an internship?" And she says, "Okay, I'll look for you--help you look, Tomorrow." And that Freudian slip, my friends, basically sums up our relationship. She does everything for me, and I let her, because I'm a co-dependant slob, and a waste of a person. Laaaame. This happens all over the place. My mom took me to the mall today too to return Xmas presents that didn't fit/were made of allergy-inducing wool. And by "took me" I mean that I was there, standing behind her, while she told the woman at the counter that she wanted to return these gloves, and get those ones. When she told the woman at Journey's that the boots were too big and that I needed a 7 not a 7 1/2.

I need to grow a pair. A pair of what, I'm still not sure. But I need to start growing them fast, because I'm gonna end up one of those 40-year-old basement dwellers if I don't get a move on.

Musicians a smart person would know about

Here's some good music. The coolest music is the kind that no one knows about. The bigger your fan base, the more uncool you become. That's just common knowledge.

1. Rodrigo y Gabriela. Lose some cool points for appearing on the David Letterman show. They also have a pretty decent fan base, and they're currently #2 on the billboard charts for World Album with their sophomore album 11:11. However, no amount of exposure can totally dampen the amount of awesomeness that is this Mexican guitar duo. Holy hands batman.



2. Nouvelle Vague. A Fronch music collective. Their name means "New Wave" in French which is kind of lame I know. Your hipster friends like this band. If you have hipster friends. If you have friends. But for me, they get an extra helping of cool points for appearing mulitple times on the soundtrack of my favorite (read: the only) angsty lesbian-teen television programme (it's British too), Sugar Rush.



3. Jose Gonzales. Not too many people have heard of this guy, so if you mention his name you'll seem super hip and with it. Unfortunately I just learned that my favorite song by him, Heartbeats, is actually a cover. It's still beautiful though.



4. Brad sucks. Almost no one knows about this dude. Plus his songs are super angsty, so when you're in a depressed mood, put this guy on and know that someone is feelin you pain. There's some real self-effacing stuff buried under the catchy melodies. Put this on right after you finish listening to Beck's "Loser".



5. The Leisure Society. I heard these guys while I was studying abroad in London. I don't know how big they are now, but at the time I heard them, they were opening for Richard Swift. Don't know who Richard Swift is? Don't worry, I didn't either. Don't bother with him, he's kind of a mediocre American Blues guy/drunk. Or at least he was when I saw him preform. The Leisure Society is pretty awesome, chill music though. Plus they have a flute, which is super badass.

Early Xmas

I bought myself an early Xmas gift while I was supposed to be shopping for stocking stuffers.



They look like this, except they're pajama material, and have a drawstring waist. They go down to my knees. Awesome. And only $5.00.

Merry Xmas to me.

Xmas Eve Sorrows

So I went to my cousins' house for Christmas Eve. This is a family tradition that we do every year. I have only one uncle (and no cousins) on my Dad's side of the family, and my Dad is a non-practicing Jew anyway, so there's never been any kind of dilemma about which side of the family to spend xmas eve with.

I used to absolutely LOVE christmas eve. I loved seeing my cousins, I loved exchanging presents, I loved the whole thing. And when my grandma was alive, she used to make me and my cousins all orniments for christmas, like homemade painted ones, which I thought were great. It was a tradition I looked forward to every year.

Now its a nightmare. A fucking nightmare. The cousin who I used to be closest too (we used to wear matching sweatshirts) has turned into the biggest fucking ******** I've ever known. She's loud, and obnoxious, and meeeeeean. Plus, I have to listen to a bunch of racist and homophobic slurs from all of my cousins. My one cousin, the one I hate, screamed SPIC! when when we were driving, because the car she was tailgating was going to slow for her. Then my other cousin's friend came over, and started talking some BS about Jewish people and Asians. Then she threw her coffee cup out the window of the car and said "I'm creating a job for someone." Congrats.

So yeah, fuck Xmas Eve. Now it's all about Christmas Day. Which I'll spend with just my immediate family. But this year my parents are divorced, so I have to spend half the day with each, which sucks. But at least I won't have to listen to "That's so gay" or "she's such a faggot" all damn day. And that's enough for me.