So, I'm at dinner, and I say to my mom, "What's happening tomorrow?" Then she says, "I don't know." There's a long beat, and then I say, "Wanna help me look for an internship?" And she says, "Okay, I'll look for you--help you look, Tomorrow." And that Freudian slip, my friends, basically sums up our relationship. She does everything for me, and I let her, because I'm a co-dependant slob, and a waste of a person. Laaaame. This happens all over the place. My mom took me to the mall today too to return Xmas presents that didn't fit/were made of allergy-inducing wool. And by "took me" I mean that I was there, standing behind her, while she told the woman at the counter that she wanted to return these gloves, and get those ones. When she told the woman at Journey's that the boots were too big and that I needed a 7 not a 7 1/2.
I need to grow a pair. A pair of what, I'm still not sure. But I need to start growing them fast, because I'm gonna end up one of those 40-year-old basement dwellers if I don't get a move on.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Musicians a smart person would know about
Here's some good music. The coolest music is the kind that no one knows about. The bigger your fan base, the more uncool you become. That's just common knowledge.
1. Rodrigo y Gabriela. Lose some cool points for appearing on the David Letterman show. They also have a pretty decent fan base, and they're currently #2 on the billboard charts for World Album with their sophomore album 11:11. However, no amount of exposure can totally dampen the amount of awesomeness that is this Mexican guitar duo. Holy hands batman.
2. Nouvelle Vague. A Fronch music collective. Their name means "New Wave" in French which is kind of lame I know. Your hipster friends like this band. If you have hipster friends. If you have friends. But for me, they get an extra helping of cool points for appearing mulitple times on the soundtrack of my favorite (read: the only) angsty lesbian-teen television programme (it's British too), Sugar Rush.
3. Jose Gonzales. Not too many people have heard of this guy, so if you mention his name you'll seem super hip and with it. Unfortunately I just learned that my favorite song by him, Heartbeats, is actually a cover. It's still beautiful though.
4. Brad sucks. Almost no one knows about this dude. Plus his songs are super angsty, so when you're in a depressed mood, put this guy on and know that someone is feelin you pain. There's some real self-effacing stuff buried under the catchy melodies. Put this on right after you finish listening to Beck's "Loser".
5. The Leisure Society. I heard these guys while I was studying abroad in London. I don't know how big they are now, but at the time I heard them, they were opening for Richard Swift. Don't know who Richard Swift is? Don't worry, I didn't either. Don't bother with him, he's kind of a mediocre American Blues guy/drunk. Or at least he was when I saw him preform. The Leisure Society is pretty awesome, chill music though. Plus they have a flute, which is super badass.
1. Rodrigo y Gabriela. Lose some cool points for appearing on the David Letterman show. They also have a pretty decent fan base, and they're currently #2 on the billboard charts for World Album with their sophomore album 11:11. However, no amount of exposure can totally dampen the amount of awesomeness that is this Mexican guitar duo. Holy hands batman.
2. Nouvelle Vague. A Fronch music collective. Their name means "New Wave" in French which is kind of lame I know. Your hipster friends like this band. If you have hipster friends. If you have friends. But for me, they get an extra helping of cool points for appearing mulitple times on the soundtrack of my favorite (read: the only) angsty lesbian-teen television programme (it's British too), Sugar Rush.
3. Jose Gonzales. Not too many people have heard of this guy, so if you mention his name you'll seem super hip and with it. Unfortunately I just learned that my favorite song by him, Heartbeats, is actually a cover. It's still beautiful though.
4. Brad sucks. Almost no one knows about this dude. Plus his songs are super angsty, so when you're in a depressed mood, put this guy on and know that someone is feelin you pain. There's some real self-effacing stuff buried under the catchy melodies. Put this on right after you finish listening to Beck's "Loser".
5. The Leisure Society. I heard these guys while I was studying abroad in London. I don't know how big they are now, but at the time I heard them, they were opening for Richard Swift. Don't know who Richard Swift is? Don't worry, I didn't either. Don't bother with him, he's kind of a mediocre American Blues guy/drunk. Or at least he was when I saw him preform. The Leisure Society is pretty awesome, chill music though. Plus they have a flute, which is super badass.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Early Xmas
I bought myself an early Xmas gift while I was supposed to be shopping for stocking stuffers.
They look like this, except they're pajama material, and have a drawstring waist. They go down to my knees. Awesome. And only $5.00.
Merry Xmas to me.
They look like this, except they're pajama material, and have a drawstring waist. They go down to my knees. Awesome. And only $5.00.
Merry Xmas to me.
Xmas Eve Sorrows
So I went to my cousins' house for Christmas Eve. This is a family tradition that we do every year. I have only one uncle (and no cousins) on my Dad's side of the family, and my Dad is a non-practicing Jew anyway, so there's never been any kind of dilemma about which side of the family to spend xmas eve with.
I used to absolutely LOVE christmas eve. I loved seeing my cousins, I loved exchanging presents, I loved the whole thing. And when my grandma was alive, she used to make me and my cousins all orniments for christmas, like homemade painted ones, which I thought were great. It was a tradition I looked forward to every year.
Now its a nightmare. A fucking nightmare. The cousin who I used to be closest too (we used to wear matching sweatshirts) has turned into the biggest fucking ******** I've ever known. She's loud, and obnoxious, and meeeeeean. Plus, I have to listen to a bunch of racist and homophobic slurs from all of my cousins. My one cousin, the one I hate, screamed SPIC! when when we were driving, because the car she was tailgating was going to slow for her. Then my other cousin's friend came over, and started talking some BS about Jewish people and Asians. Then she threw her coffee cup out the window of the car and said "I'm creating a job for someone." Congrats.
So yeah, fuck Xmas Eve. Now it's all about Christmas Day. Which I'll spend with just my immediate family. But this year my parents are divorced, so I have to spend half the day with each, which sucks. But at least I won't have to listen to "That's so gay" or "she's such a faggot" all damn day. And that's enough for me.
I used to absolutely LOVE christmas eve. I loved seeing my cousins, I loved exchanging presents, I loved the whole thing. And when my grandma was alive, she used to make me and my cousins all orniments for christmas, like homemade painted ones, which I thought were great. It was a tradition I looked forward to every year.
Now its a nightmare. A fucking nightmare. The cousin who I used to be closest too (we used to wear matching sweatshirts) has turned into the biggest fucking ******** I've ever known. She's loud, and obnoxious, and meeeeeean. Plus, I have to listen to a bunch of racist and homophobic slurs from all of my cousins. My one cousin, the one I hate, screamed SPIC! when when we were driving, because the car she was tailgating was going to slow for her. Then my other cousin's friend came over, and started talking some BS about Jewish people and Asians. Then she threw her coffee cup out the window of the car and said "I'm creating a job for someone." Congrats.
So yeah, fuck Xmas Eve. Now it's all about Christmas Day. Which I'll spend with just my immediate family. But this year my parents are divorced, so I have to spend half the day with each, which sucks. But at least I won't have to listen to "That's so gay" or "she's such a faggot" all damn day. And that's enough for me.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Look Alikes
Here's some people I think look like each other. Why? Because I want to. Shut up, this is my blog and I'll do whatever the hell I want.
1. Let's start with an obvious one. Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry. Yeah, I know you've already heard this one a thousand times, but holy crap there was a month where I thought that there was just one girl with 2 names. "Is Zooey like her stage name or something?" (Yeah I heard of Katy Perry first, sue me).
They really are different people, swear to Jeebus. Here's a pic to prove it:
Told ya.
2. I ALWAYS mix up Jake Gyllenhaal and Toby Maguire (who's name I almost spelled Toby McGuire btw). And apparently I'm not the only one who thinks they look alike, since they recently got cast in a movie where they play brothers. Called Brothers.
For some reason I am really compelled to see this film, and I'm not sure why. I'm not especially attracted to Natalie Portman, so that can't be it. And really, other than hot girls, what reason is there to watch movies?
3. Jodie Foster and Helen Hunt. I have always, ALWAYS mixed up these too. They got a little easier to identify after Jodie came out, and I started stalking her every move. But really, they look like twins, am I wrong?
4. Okay, so most of the others are probably old news, but here's one that I've never heard mentioned by anyone other than myself. Call me crazy, but don't you think that Kiera Knightly, and a young Freaks and Geeks John Francis Daley look eerily similar? Woah.
This is a little bit of a problem for me, since I am incredibly attracted to Kiera. Does this mean I like people who look like prepubescent boys? Help! I need therapy stat. Oh wait, I'm already in therapy.
1. Let's start with an obvious one. Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry. Yeah, I know you've already heard this one a thousand times, but holy crap there was a month where I thought that there was just one girl with 2 names. "Is Zooey like her stage name or something?" (Yeah I heard of Katy Perry first, sue me).
They really are different people, swear to Jeebus. Here's a pic to prove it:
Told ya.2. I ALWAYS mix up Jake Gyllenhaal and Toby Maguire (who's name I almost spelled Toby McGuire btw). And apparently I'm not the only one who thinks they look alike, since they recently got cast in a movie where they play brothers. Called Brothers.
For some reason I am really compelled to see this film, and I'm not sure why. I'm not especially attracted to Natalie Portman, so that can't be it. And really, other than hot girls, what reason is there to watch movies?
3. Jodie Foster and Helen Hunt. I have always, ALWAYS mixed up these too. They got a little easier to identify after Jodie came out, and I started stalking her every move. But really, they look like twins, am I wrong?
4. Okay, so most of the others are probably old news, but here's one that I've never heard mentioned by anyone other than myself. Call me crazy, but don't you think that Kiera Knightly, and a young Freaks and Geeks John Francis Daley look eerily similar? Woah.
This is a little bit of a problem for me, since I am incredibly attracted to Kiera. Does this mean I like people who look like prepubescent boys? Help! I need therapy stat. Oh wait, I'm already in therapy.
Pocky Men's
I went to the Asian grocery store today to do some last-minute xmas shopping. Then I found this.
Ahahahahahaha. Win.
Ahahahahahaha. Win.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
XENA
So.... I've been watching a TON of X:WP lately. That's Xena: Warrior Princess for you non-xenites. Really no one knows about my Xena obsession because, a. I'm kind of a secretive person to begin with, and b. I'm pretty embarrassed about it. Xena is a pretty mediocre piece of television, with lots of contrived plot devices and slapstick acting. So why am I an obsessed super fan? Two reason.
1. Lucy Lawless
Hominahominahomina. Holy crap Lucy is beautiful. Piercing eyes, hot athletic build, crazy comedy skillz. Any show that's 90% me getting to watch a beautiful woman tramp around with a giant sword in a leather and brass getup is okay by me.
2. Lesbeens
Well, so I believe I first heard about the lesbian element of Xena through a Simpson's episode, and then of course went on to further explore it myself. Apparently, there was a little something called "subtext" that lesbians had picked up on in the show. While it wasn't explicitly gey, I guess the lady lovin ladies had found something about the princess and the bard that seemed a to cross the "platonic friendship" boundary. This news didn't really excite me at first. My initial response: "Pshhh, whatever. Lesbians always look for "subtext" that doesn't really exist. It's just a coping mechanism. We don't have many characters on tv that represent us, so we just project our internal yearings onto characters who will always break our hearts and get married off to dashing young men."
Then I watched the show. Holy shamoly. It's so gay that I got it studded wristcuffs for xmas. The looks. The "I love you"s. The hugs. The fact that neither of them ever enter into any sort of long-term relationship at any point during the show. The innuendo. And they kiss! Like on the lips! Seriously, there must be about 5 full or partial lip-kisses throughout the whole series. There's also naked jacuzzi baths, and boob grabs, and the calling each other "soul mates." God I wish I had a friend like that.
I haven't watched all of Xena, because honestly, I only watch it for the Xena/Gab shipping, and there's not enough of it in most of the eppys. 8 mins of watching a Lawless stunt double faux-kick a row of baddies in the head is 7 1/2 mins too much for me, and unfortunately that's what a lot of the episodes consist of.
"You haven't watched all of the episodes?" You say. "Well then what right do you have to call yourself a superfan?" Well, invisible reader, not only do I watch the show, I also look up commentaries from the actors online. I also watch fan-vids on youtube. I also check episode guides to see which episodes are most subtext-heavy. I also frequent a blog called LOLXena. Yeah it's nerdy, and I'm not super proud of it. However, I need to fufill my lesbotic needs somewhere, and if I'm not getting them filled IRL, and the only lesbians on TV are "Oooh, stare at me harded" neurotic and sexless Callie and Arizona from Grey's, then I have to go somewhere. And apparently that somewhere is a campy medevail nerdfest called Xena: Warrior Princess.
So in conclusion, someone find me a girlfriend (preferrably Lucy Lawless's long lost lesbian twin), so that I can get back to reality, and stop trying to scour the web for any small scrap of Xena/Gabby lezzy smirks and boob brushes I can get my eyes on. Please donate today.
1. Lucy Lawless
Hominahominahomina. Holy crap Lucy is beautiful. Piercing eyes, hot athletic build, crazy comedy skillz. Any show that's 90% me getting to watch a beautiful woman tramp around with a giant sword in a leather and brass getup is okay by me.2. Lesbeens
Well, so I believe I first heard about the lesbian element of Xena through a Simpson's episode, and then of course went on to further explore it myself. Apparently, there was a little something called "subtext" that lesbians had picked up on in the show. While it wasn't explicitly gey, I guess the lady lovin ladies had found something about the princess and the bard that seemed a to cross the "platonic friendship" boundary. This news didn't really excite me at first. My initial response: "Pshhh, whatever. Lesbians always look for "subtext" that doesn't really exist. It's just a coping mechanism. We don't have many characters on tv that represent us, so we just project our internal yearings onto characters who will always break our hearts and get married off to dashing young men."
Then I watched the show. Holy shamoly. It's so gay that I got it studded wristcuffs for xmas. The looks. The "I love you"s. The hugs. The fact that neither of them ever enter into any sort of long-term relationship at any point during the show. The innuendo. And they kiss! Like on the lips! Seriously, there must be about 5 full or partial lip-kisses throughout the whole series. There's also naked jacuzzi baths, and boob grabs, and the calling each other "soul mates." God I wish I had a friend like that.
I haven't watched all of Xena, because honestly, I only watch it for the Xena/Gab shipping, and there's not enough of it in most of the eppys. 8 mins of watching a Lawless stunt double faux-kick a row of baddies in the head is 7 1/2 mins too much for me, and unfortunately that's what a lot of the episodes consist of.
"You haven't watched all of the episodes?" You say. "Well then what right do you have to call yourself a superfan?" Well, invisible reader, not only do I watch the show, I also look up commentaries from the actors online. I also watch fan-vids on youtube. I also check episode guides to see which episodes are most subtext-heavy. I also frequent a blog called LOLXena. Yeah it's nerdy, and I'm not super proud of it. However, I need to fufill my lesbotic needs somewhere, and if I'm not getting them filled IRL, and the only lesbians on TV are "Oooh, stare at me harded" neurotic and sexless Callie and Arizona from Grey's, then I have to go somewhere. And apparently that somewhere is a campy medevail nerdfest called Xena: Warrior Princess.
So in conclusion, someone find me a girlfriend (preferrably Lucy Lawless's long lost lesbian twin), so that I can get back to reality, and stop trying to scour the web for any small scrap of Xena/Gabby lezzy smirks and boob brushes I can get my eyes on. Please donate today.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Well obviously I haven't been posting a lot recently. And there's a good reason for that. I'm a hopeless slacker who has zero motivation, and is destined for life on the curbside. Heh. Seriously, my plan is to be a writer. Yikes. I'm gonna be one of those writers who can never get past a flowery introduction and exposition. I think I'm Alice from "The World According to Garp," the lisping writer who has a way with words, but can never finish a novel.
Yeah, so anyway, why am i writing now you ask? Well, vast hole of interspace, I'm home for break. And that means I'm bored. It's 2 am, and no one's up, and recently I haven't been going to bed until around 4 in the morn. All of the websites and online comics that I follow are either lacking in updates, or have already been picked over by my scaveging eyes. So no more finals, yay! But no more friends either, boo.
So, update, I'm sick. No, it's not the swine, just a cold. I think.
I know that's not the most super interesting news you've ever heard, but if ya don't like it, don't read it! Oh, guess everyone's already taking that advice...
Yeah, so anyway, why am i writing now you ask? Well, vast hole of interspace, I'm home for break. And that means I'm bored. It's 2 am, and no one's up, and recently I haven't been going to bed until around 4 in the morn. All of the websites and online comics that I follow are either lacking in updates, or have already been picked over by my scaveging eyes. So no more finals, yay! But no more friends either, boo.
So, update, I'm sick. No, it's not the swine, just a cold. I think.
I know that's not the most super interesting news you've ever heard, but if ya don't like it, don't read it! Oh, guess everyone's already taking that advice...
Well I'm trying to figure out how to post images to the web without infringing on other people's rights. So here's a smokin' pic of the j con that I captured off the web with grab, and then converted to a JPEG. It took awhile, and I'm assuming that there's an easier (read: quicker) way to do this, but I don't know what it is, so... I guess this will be what I'm doing. Clearly I haven't been keeping up with posts, and part of the reason is that I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm slightly computer illetirate, so this is my best. Video? faggettaboutit.
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